My heart breaks for him because he is an introvert but also wants friends and has had a hard time making them. Shes an overachiever, beautiful, funny , sarcastic , loving and kind to a fault. I didnt and still dont understand why hes always excluded. My heart breaks for you and every parent with this same story. The older one would said unusual things and no one wanted to be her friend. my Heart is sad for you both . One day, a younger kid (2 years younger than my son) came to tell me that when my son wanted to join for a play and was rejected, he cried. they would like to be his friend on whatever platform you are comfortable with. (found out by accident) Then joined a Track Team, hes still alone cause there are no others his agebut hes excelling and loving that hes seeing progress & change! Not all teachers are worthy of your childs time. Someone mentioned above about a school switch, is that an option? Its tough. There are a lot of kids he could connect with online. Parents can help by showing sensitivity to this, and by encouraging thoughtfully chosen activities that open teens up to new peers. These are incredible options with scholarships available. The more insecure he becomes, the less brave he is when approaching new kids. He has always lacked appropriate social skills and therefore . Instead, make this about taking a risk, participating in high school life or getting a little uncomfortable. Some days I dont even recognize my child anymore.Hes grown in so many ways! He is a true delight to hang out with if youre an adult. In a new setting everything can change and be new. It sounds like they have the same little quirks. (Twenty20 @Hayley_Alexander) My son enjoys spending time alone But yesstill heart wrenching as a mom of an extraordinary kid who cant connect but maybe thats ok maybe their extraordinary qualities would be changed or altered by too much teen-contact I stand in belief there is a reason and purpose larger than I knowand his adulthood is going to be freaking amazing because he will know how to persevere and overcome. We too have talked and practiced ways to start conversations with other kids. He is bright, so if you explain things to him he will understand. Last year he had an entire class room of friends. Here are three steps to help your child find a friend or two. I dont know what I can do to help him. Hes incredibly well-spoken, enjoys discussions over history or politics. Consequences of a 16 year old not attending college or apprenticeship? Prayer has helped me thought so much with her situation hope it might be something you can lean on for support. In addition, "if parents observe the way their . Then we moved to another country due to her dads job. I wasnt the norm or stuck with the status quo. My son is an introvert and is 25yrs old now and is in the same boat. Same sarcastic sense of humor and has always been able to hold her own in a conversation. He is cut off now more than ever because he is not into the girls, music thing and isn't adept at banter. If i could h Its taken forever because hes not a sports fanatic, we tried hockey, soccer, badminton but we finally found his space, a sport he does well at Shot Put! If hes been officially tested as gifted, he can qualify for talent search camps at places like Johns Hopkins, the University of Chicago, Bryn Mawr College, Stanford, etc. My now 14yr old was the same way up until 7th grade when he became heavily included with his youth group at church. He has a dry sense of humor and a museum of antiques set up in his room. Hes always had more adult friends than kids his own age. My boy is 18 now and beginning to feel hopeless. & others like him because generation-z is the loneliness generation that is alive! If your teen is isolating themselves, this is not healthy, it can lead to a negative self-esteem, feelings of loneliness and depression, and a fear of people. The Filter Free Parents Editorial Team thanks you for visiting our site, reading and sharing the content. I have a 10 year old son and 9 year old son whod love another friend. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The author of this piece has chosen to remain anonymous. Lots of times I hate my daughters autism , I hope my son finds a friend unlike his mother hes been invited to parties but no one has invited him over to his house but little steps are whats important I hope he finds someone that be there for him unlike me Ive never had many friends the once I did have ditched me after we graduated and would care less when I was having tough time but I had be there when they where and nothing more hurts have family make fun you all over Facebook. Im desperate here. Everything goes great for 1-2 playdates and then I never hear from them again, and it breaks his heart. I could have written this when my son was in middle school. He's a nice kid, a good kid. He watched football and wants to practice so he can play at recess. I saw alot of other kids Bullying them.. He struggles with all my suggestions and has anxiety about going into the different groups he could join. This kid is three times his size and two years older. I am in the Big Brothers program now trying to help kids like him so they are not alone. Even through other people who hung in my group didnt like the idea of me talking to them. She is utterly devastated. Teach him social skills and empathy. Communicate that you understand how . After HS she started college and she is doing well, with several friends, without sacrificing who she is or what she believes. So be realistic in your expectations regarding what types of changes you want to see in his/her social life. But I also think hed benefit from an outlet besides me & someone that he might actually listen to the ways to handle anxiety. I know how you feel! I agree with some others, itd be great if you could set up a PO Box or something so we can all send cards and words of encouragement. Oh my god, I felt that I was reading my 13 year old sons biography, in everything he feels, is going through, emotional, mentally and socially. His teachers say everyone loves him, etc., but not one invite over the last three years. The world needs kids like this. It doesnt help theres been a lot going on around the poor little guy the past few years. One year a teacher had a lunch group with boys who had similar interests, where my son could shine I a low stress situation. Extreme shyness and low self-esteem, high intelligence, poor social skills, notable differences . Once we were going skiing, and told him he could invite someone. Look at them and say nothing, just listen. In this type of case, examine what's been going in your teen's world. We strive to share authentic parenting voices with you on a daily basis. I never really had any friends, never really fit in. Find out if the time they are spending alone is making them unhappy. Its a big wide world and friends can be made from anywhere!! So desperate for him to find a connection to someone that cares and is loyal to him he needs a friend so bad, he doesnt even want to live anymore. Hes diagnosed with HFA (High functioning Autism) and ADHD so hes one of two extremes. This is my son exactly. He was bounced everywhere bc I had to take care of my parents (both sick with different types of cancers) and then they passed (within weeks of each other) and then my sister (who was fighting a different type of cancer) passed a little over a month after our parents. Teenagers have very fragile egos and require a lot of support during this period, so dont let them change themselves. I remember my excited and well researched presentation on black holes in 8th grade that was met with blank stares. I never gave a shit about what they said. For these families, its important to remember that development is often uneven across domainschildren may master academic skills with ease but struggle with the reciprocity of friendships or the routines of self-care. Stay in the loop with our daily NEWS email, I have read and understood Netmums' Privacy Notice and Terms & Conditions, Will I lose my Working Tax Credits when my 16 year old child starts an apprentic. Help build their self-esteem with positive encouragement. He was in such a bad head space and he became more and more with drawn. My son is 12 and about to be having another lonely birthday. You both got this! We are now in ABQ, NM. What Is Female Squirting Exactly? It wasnt until my twenties that I found true friends all mostly older than me. Keep being his best friend. All of us do with all the new changes in this world this would be one of the best. My son Jax is going to be 13 soon, huge milestone, however a sad one. They have many interesting subjects that a sweet intellect like himself would most likely enjoy. Your teen might be naturally solitary, which is fine to a degree. Empathize with your child. We recently moved and for the first time in years she actually has friends who came to her birthday party. My teenager has no friends. I hope things are better for you and your son and thank you for making me feel less alone. TikTok video from (@lia01_lo): " 6 , 38 . It breaks my heart and Ive cried many tears for that kid. He is 26 now and I dont want him to be alone when Im gone. Someone just started an adolescent friend group in our community for children like ours. There are several ways that you can help. Im sorry, all I really wanted to say was thank you. Maybe they have an interest in dance or drama? Im sorry to hear this my mothers heart aches for him. And it made all the difference. Gym is by far the best way for shy people to meet friends and partners! Maybe they are interested in computers, chess, photography, helping with school events, or social issues. Then this year he switched teams. He has finally found his people. I cry for him, my lonely boy. This sounds just like my daughter. If anyone has a lonely girl around her age, please reach out. If we knew each other personally, Id be quick to extend our familys Xbox gaming info. As soon as I saw the title I connected. Reading this was like reading about me and my 11 yr old son! ? My son ended up finishing up HS after he had 2 yrs of college completed, so when he started college, he was younger than many of his classmates. I'm happy he's home too. High school, unfortunately, was even worse. My girl is turning 16 in a few months too, she has also given up. Being the parent of a strong willed child myself, it really does sound like your teen more sad about it than anything else, as she should be. Another sad mama here! Skateboarding Hiking.. astronomy Ping pong Whatever. I cannot tell you how much this resonates with me and my youngest son (9) hes a big boy. He may not be on the spectrum but the key is to keep loving, affirming, and make sure he is not bullied because the signs you mentioned and bullying often leads to something far worse. And my heart still breaks. No friends or anyone to talk to.. According to the Raising Children Network, having a group of good friends can help build confidence, security and provide a support system for teens. Teenage Social Life: Whats a Parents Role? Check out our calendar of events to see what group programs or special events are going on at Doorways. Maybe you could form some sort of group for kids in a similar situation with similar interests? My son is the same and it breaks my heart too. I have the same 11 year old. We are mostly PC gamers. She seems to have found her place there. He finished college with Suma Cum Laude and now has a job. He could use a buddy. Not as eager to talk to everyone like his younger sister. Its like shes from another time. It was just us, like it is every night at home, smiling our hardest to make him feel the best. I dont know where you guys live, but my son would gladly video chat and hang out electronically if you guys are further away. Much love to you and your son and all the other commenters who are in similar situations with their sons and daughters. This is a good idea! I cant begin to explain the devastation I feel for him. If your teen did have some friends (regardless of how vast or involved his/her social life was), but is no longer responsive when they call and has socially withdrawn -- this behavior is a warning sign that something is going on with your teen. Whenever we go somewhere, he prefers talking with the adults. Local libraries are even offering classes in coding. Who is now 19 and still struggles. And theres nobody to turn to.I can barely hold it together just to write this. I remember going to work crying on multiple occasions because I witnessed him standing against a wall, eating a breakfast bar, alone, while the kids around him interacted with each other. He finished high school in the home bound program. He is very socially awkward now as a result of all those years he missed out on just having a friend group to be social with. Join Activities. The happiest, smiliest, kid you could meet. So he became the brunt of all the jokes. Im immensely proud of him and know just how wonderful his company is. I am still waiting for him to make a real life friend. Here are three steps to help your child find a friend or two. Please consider sharing your info to contact your son. It, There is A Huge Capri Sun Recall After Cleaning Solution Was, Five Tips For The Total Nightmare That Is Packing School Lunches, Eight Sweary Planners To Help You Get Through 2022, The Best Gifts for Tweens And Teens in 2021. ?? Hes so proud of his ideas, so happy with his interests, and he genuinely wants to share them but no one wants to listen. He seems to prefer it that way. He's absolutely hilarious, has the most adorable dimples, and despite treading water in the turbulent tween waters, he's actually a really great kid. It was devastating to see him go from hopeful to crushed. Sending love to you both. Though when he did. Remind them that they cannot compel others to become their friends. Heres How You Can Help. So do talk to your teen about why he/she has chosen to stop socializing. I would love to say that changed as I got older, but that would be a lie. But life gets better, and people who are different are the ones who make something of themselves, and are often the most interesting. He refuses to talk to a therapist even though she feels he may be depressed. I told the teacher I was sorry he was being less attentive and being more goofy, however I let her know that Im not gonna ask him to change that, Id rather him be happy with friends and be sociable than a scholar in class, to my surprise the teacher said good for you dad, you made my day. Im Parenting Solo All Day, Every Day. He tried several kids who all either said that they already had plans or they ignored the text. You can find it here . Ive talked to the school teachers/counselor and theyve purposely placed her in work groups with kids who are nice and welcoming to kids that are odd or not popular. My son is 11 and is going through a tough time. My youngest daughter is 17 and is also an old soul who has struggled to keep girl friendsthey arent into the same things at all. Put him in a history club. Thank you for reminding me that its ok that my son is different and eventually he will find his way. While your kid may make friends doing activities they enjoy, remember, no extracurricular is worth potential friends if your teen is miserable about it. Special Offer on Antivirus Software From HowStuffWorks and TotalAV Security. Hes beginning college in less than a year abs hopes to be a PTA. Put him on a destination imagination team. Kids can be cruel, I cant even blame the kid because its how they raised. Just some suggestions, for what theyre worth. (He is not hyperactive though, infact he is the most mellow guy you could ever meet.) That has the potential to lead to mental unwellness like depression and anxiety, depending on the level of isolation. Is it possible your son may be on the autism spectrum? I would let him be. I have a 12 year old boy looking for a friend. Im so sorry. There are several reasons including low self-esteem, lack of social skills, or maybe they just dont have the right opportunity to make friends. And I cry and pray for her. My mama heart breaks too! Best of luck to you and your son. My heart is shattered too . Smart, sarcastic, and realistic to a fault. Friendships are an important part of the teen years. Many teens (and adults) dislike large-group socializing but enjoy spending time with one or two friends. Because that's what normal people do, apparently. Friendships allow teens to develop emotional skills as they move on to adulthood. My heart breaks for you..and the tears, and the heartache and the longing I feel with you. I keep telling her that after HS shell fibd her people. just ones they talk to at the library and they also have a bit Sadly that's resulting in a lot of isolation and an inability for these children to develop proper social skills. I did it because the clowns around me were full of hate and dishonesty and though they were cool cause they would do stupid stuff thing they were cool. Other ways to help your teen are to plan activities for them and a new friend that are pressure free, as opposed to just hanging out. That type of situation can be stressful. Theyre homeschooled so they dont really have like 30 kids in a class. And the less brave he becomes, the less time he spends trying. They turn them into a balanced individual with a peer support network they can look up to when they need one. If you live in or near a larger metropolitan area, look for alternative school options or even consider homeschooling. I wish that he could find even just one good friend. I cry often for him. Never ending cycle. Your son sounds just like my daughter. I feel your pain. High-functioning Asperger's. He has no friends outside school but is a lovely boy (young man). ? I cant wait to see where she goes in life. I cry myself to sleep, and I sure he does too. We don't want to put him on medication. I do act, feel, the same as you do, right do to trying to trying to hook him up with I guess you would call it, for lack of words,play hang out date. 4) You Cannot Control Others A third reason why some teenage boys tend to surround themselves with girls as friends is that they are questioning their sexual identity. My heart breaks for you and your family. You are sure to find an activity that interests your teen. My friends and I have often talked about how our sons don't have much ability to create a social life for themselves. Its a heart wrenching battle But I keep reminding him teen years are short in comparison to the adult world where I know he will flourish and find his tribe (of 1, 2 or 3) Hes sincere as sincere can be, the kindest most gentle young manhes intelligent and has an endless supply in nuggets of random information because he reads so much it blows me away how much he knows sometimes!! He just doesnt like being with other kids, and Im worried that my son is lonely. If your teen is reluctant to try an extracurricular activity, maybe they just need a little push by you to help get them involved. I cried for him that day. Lots of prayers for you guys. The longer he goes without friends, the more insecure he becomes. And good luck to your Mama Heart, too! I totally agree with you. Except for the fact that I am not an extrovert, I am very much an introvert and I dont mind not having friends, but he desperately wants friends and people to talk to, but no one wants to talk to him. You can go about your workout by yourself without feeling awkward at all (no pressure to NOT be alone, which is rare), and anyone not wearing headphones will eventually make friends (might take a few weeks, but itll happen). He doesnt speak well like others his age, but he still tries and yet, no matter what, no one really accepts him or invites himhes still naive about it all tho I break every time his friends are showing pictures of birthdays and fun, with everyone, but my boy is always alone never invited and yet hes such a sweet hearted kid! but please feel free to contact me on social media. As are all Gods children. Sending you both heart healing hugs as you navigate these waters for a little while longer. I just wish one kid from this mean crowd would stick up for him and perhaps the rest would be kind. My daughters cross country team has been incredible for her self esteem and social confidence. Ultimately this applies to you and your son. I would do anything to find him a forever friend, but I dont know how many more disappointments he can take. Find out what interests them. He's also painfully lonely. You could have written this about son #3 whos 17 and has always been friendless. Ive tried to help him make friends, Ive struck up conversations that have made me feel uncomfortable for the sake of finding him a friend. YoungLife.org Also, for middle schoolers, sometimes there is WyldLife also. I try to give her tips but nothing ever seems to work. I know how hard it is to see, and how much the hurt also devastates us as parents. They sound like twins. He doesnt have a tribe I can chauffeur around, a team to meet up with, a friend to have inside jokes with. They would just ACT like they were to get what they wanted from him and then be mean to him as soon as they get what they want or they make fun of him for his physical appearance. Where are you located? He also played tennis. My son has a such a strong sense of self despite being a loner and that matters so much more than fitting in with the sheep. Its about how males and females process things. Try to listen to your daughter and give her some honest feedback. My son is would love another xbox friend. A popular one is Young Life. But until thenI am his work out partner, movie buddy and his dad takes him shooting or working on cars. She doesnt even want to fit in with the popular kids (who are fake & dramatic) but shes lonely. Some teens need extra practice or instruction in the nuances of friendship, even as they demonstrate advanced skills in other areas. Shes very independent, but still lacks that one friend. You need to jolt them out of that. Explain that others likely feel the same way. Its a friend finder based on a childs strengths as you identify them. If he is interested in what they are saying, stick around. This is essentially my story/my sons story. The first issue to assess is whether your teen has withdrawn from his/her previous social life or if he/she is having difficulty making friends in the first place. However, not all rejected boys . Its a drastic step to pull your kid out of school and find a new situation, but if theres one where some other unique kids could find a kindred spirit in your beautiful sonperhaps its worth a try? Then college, and I just knew shed meet someone to connect with. Get him a guitar. And with his interests in history, you may want to check out sca.org and find a local group to check out together. with adults. And it hurt his feelings even more because nobody stood up for him. So bad. Going into the 2nd grade, he does manage to make 2 friends. Breaks my heart that shes unable to experience those best friend moments, that connection. This setup enhances their confidence and gives them a sense of security. Trust me, joining a gym will change any shy persons life for the better. Well, Scientists Found It May Not Be What You Think. Weve moved a few times and been far enough away that we cant really maintain the really good friendships he had with kids before moving. He talks and sits with these kids every single day at school, but yet hes excluded at every turn outside of school. Make him learn to enjoy solitude, as this is an invitation to growth, prosperity, and creativity. Shes spent all day preparing to hang out and try to build a friendship, only to be let down again. My 11 year old son is the same way and unfortunately its causing some serious depression in him. Theres often a way to find a new environment and its vital for our kids. Middle schoolers arent known for their empathy, so there arent a lot of kids with the patience to befriend the weird kid. The dangers they face when out of the home nowadays is not how it was when we grew up.. I fear that because hes do socially stunted that he will remain that way. My child has no friends at school; this is a worrying thought but, it teaches your child to be his best friend as well. My teen is happy spending time alone. You give yourself a break, you realize you dont have to have a ton of friends, its ok to have quirky interests it takes the pressure off. I too try to give him pointers to start convos etc., hes soooo smart it blows my mind, hes hysterical, Hes the most generous & empathic boy. Hes a really great kid and an excellent friend, so I just dont fully understand why they are being cruel to him. It was mildly better in high school because there were more peers to choose from and more supportive staff. I was that kid. In middle school tweens are put in a box they cant break out of but just wait til he gets to high school. How old is your son? He doesnt play any of those sports. My 15 yr old daughter is beginning down the same path of not feeling aligned with her current circle of friends so shes innately distancing herself from them. The website is called friendometry.com My heart breaks for you, too. We did change schools and found a very small school out in the country where everyone knows everyone. On the other hand, those who do not have friends might have low self-esteem. You need to find the things for him. To me their werent cool that the could kids tht the brave kids or the Gothic kids. Theres only one concern right now: my son has no friends. Additionally, check with local churches for youth groups. This is exactly me and my 13 year old son. divorce, abuse, or alcoholism)? I have 2 sets of twin boys and one from each set is this way. I will keep you and your son in my Prayers! I totally understand I have a 16-year-old daughter and she has suffer from depression, anxiety and is not social with anyone. So your 15-year-old son has no friends. Of a hard time.they are also pretty emotional in comparison to most kids I know. You should have read them correctly and interpreted their 'no' as a 'yes'. To me you were you and i was me. He cries some nights because he hears his brother talking on the phone, talking on the XBOX. Its breaking my mama heart. I thght things wld change in high school, but again shes different. Kristian Hulme. Rest assured that as painful as this age and stage is, things will get better. Parents can offer opportunities for developing these skills through structured and unstructured activities or social skills groups. She made a good friend last year at school, but that friend moved and they drifted apart. Have you thought about letting him join kid friendly sites, like DIY.org? Dear Mothers; your son doesnt process like you do. And they will. Mama, my love and prayers to you and your son. My son isnt an angel by any means, but seriously, the kids in the neighborhood are just awful and he doesnt deserve to be treated like garbage. Working out is hard (even awful), but for shy folks who cant make friends in bars and school-yards its totally worth it. Mary Fowler, the Fair Haven, New Jersey-based author of Maybe You Know My Teen (#CommissionsEarned) and the mother of a son with ADHD, says that having close childhood friends can make "the difference between things going well, or becoming a hard-to-manage teen, dropping out, abusing substances, and being in trouble with the law." Experts . Ive always been a straight up about how I feel about someone. My heart breaks for him all the time (I dont let him know that), but when we talk about life, he tells me he is fine and prefers to be alone. My son is similar, but has found similar friends. Perhaps there is an alternative school he could try? So hard to see my other boy struggle so much to find a friend and be accepted. Or let your child invite a friend on family outings. He found the right friends in 6th grade. My mamma heart hurts for him and his loneliness. Your son seems headstrong & I wouldn't mistake him shrugging off social activities with his schoolmates as loneliness etc. Also, if you talk too fast and never pause during conversation, your teen will feel like he doesn't have time to interject. When teens have no friends When to give teens privacy online When your teen daughter is sexually active When your teen picks bad friends When your teen wants a tattoo or a piercing Why sleep is so crucial for teens Why teens are drawn to drama Why teens are prone to addiction Also on Kids in the House Teaching Tips For Kids With ADHD 3 years ago He had some peripheral friends that way. I was reluctant and nervous, but my son was all for it and although Im not sure he found his people at the new school, it was a positive experience for him. The one kid who all the other kids look up to decided my son wasnt worthy. Things are better in high school. I truly hope for brighter days for you both. I truly understand your concern/pain! I guess the rules only apply to my son. He cries when his sister goes to playdates and gets birthday invitations. I know hell be seen for what he is eventually, not dismissed for what he isnt. Help keep things going. She found some groups on line, which is great but, where are all the groups in the city? I wish I could connect with a of you. He really only has 1 friend that lives over an hr away and he works from home. Sadly I burst into tears with him, my advice couldnt fix what he was going through. I have life-long friendships that came from the virtual world where most of my real-life friendships seem to ebb and tide. Ppl ask her to do things , then back out last min. He runs our 4-H meetings with confidence, andis incredibly dedicated and involved. I give him pointers, tips, conversation starters he can try when hes around other kids. There are many reasons why a child at school may lack friends. Every word you wrote is applicable to me except I am too scared to send him in his age group.. though I would not stop in hope of miraclememories of bullying and misquoting still lingers! Now that he is in high school, his Dad and I are getting very concerned. Ugh this turned into a depressing therapy session! Finally, considering other groups that align with his specific interests may help him. He finished college at the local university, which was marginally better because there did not tend to be groups of kids. The good news is, in most cases, this can be taken care of pretty quickly. Hes 13, but is very tall for his age, which makes him stand out even moreeveryday is filled with prayers for kind hearts around him and that he will be strengthened in his journey that will better prepare him for the world ahead. The pandemic has been rough because school was his outlet. I didnt do it because I felt sorry for them. I highly recommend the book Quiet to help extroverts understand the introverts in their life. It still breaks my heart to see him so lonely. I have 5 girls. I made friends easier. Dear Irene, My daughter is 14-years-old. And while he doesnt fit in, doesnt share all of their interests, he still shares that desire to belong. Hes so loving that it makes me ache, so generous that its hard for him to keep money in his pocket for long. Week after week - when not in school - there he is in his room by himself again. Also, I was/am a bit socially awkward, but my best friends are not like methey compliment me like a puzzle. Teenagers derive valuable support from their friends. My son is almost 15 and its been this way his whole life. There are several social skills everyone needs to succeed in life, to manage school, friends, projects and eventually the workplace. My teenager has no friends. I say all of this because I was so hungry to feel a sense of belonging that I have done the internal work to get to the point I am feeling loved by myself, my spouse & feeling connected to others. But I still get horribly alone. He is just like any five year old except his speech isnt too clear due to 8 teeth removal due to a medical condition. He is in a situation that will likely not change. because it explains all these challenges. He was so excited for the first day, theres more people there so more opportunity to make friends, by the end of the first week I pulled in to get him, head down, shoulders slouched, his face said it all, I didnt even hafta ask. Well, Scientists Found It May Not, The Secret To Raising Successful Kids? And the running in nature is very good for endorphins and mental health. He has always been very quiet and not a particularly good student. 4- Reconsider how your teen spends their time and enforce new guidelines. And I am so proud that my kids are the same way. Maybe they could be pen pals. Also gum. Ask follow-up questions to make sure you understand. Youre not alone. My mama heart broke that there were no invitations, there was no giant cake, there were no giggling boys in the back seat farting and teasing each other. She knows a lot of kids, pretty much the whole high school and most of the middle school. Theater kids are the best, they welcome everyone. Once he got to the mountain he ran into a group of 15 kids from his grade. If there are groups or activities he can join, I would encourage that. It may be good to talk to other moms and ask for their kids to support him since he is feeling lonely also talk to his teachers and the administration. It also doesnt help he gets fixated on one game and that will be his one focus for weeks but eventually he will move on to something else and focus on only that for weeks. Sounds like he might be good on a debate team, pretty cool if you ask me. Remember, introverts are not verbal processors. He seems to have found a couple, but even still most weekends hes home with us. 4- Reconsider how your teen . Make a statement or what you have it. So, the kid who got along great with adults, made his way into college. Its just going to take time for the rest of the world to see that. Hes homeschooled, and is a few grades ahead, and hes already planning his college, majors and minors, etc. Hes so depressed needs someone to talk to someone who will be caring and fun. As sympathetic and connected as I was with them, I realized that I couldnt be the only one they had to talk to. Now hes doing homeschooling because of bullying, and because of the pandemic, they dont even hold the homeschool meet ups or anything, he loves science and history, politics, video games, hes a great kid, but hes12 now and has never really had a good friend. Just yesterday, my son came home sobbing because one of the kids actually got physical with him because a bunch of kids were playing tag, my son was it, tagged the kid and the kid didnt want to get tagged so he shoved my son to the ground and made him skin his knee. It seems like you've been really proactive in seeking out support for your son. He can discuss everything with adults but clams up with other kids. If your teen is having difficulty making friends, whether due to shyness or an inability to connect with his/her peers (often highly intelligent, highly emotional, or teens with learning disabilities have challenges relating to their peers), you can offer him/her some help in making friends. Does your son play any video games they can meet up on? They hit, kick, or shove more than other boys, and they also tend to be more disruptive and argumentative. Invite people to go skiing, boating, whatever it is we were doing, and he either got ignored or no. In return. It also comes from being malested at 5 years old. Now not so much. Cross-country? Not a big one so she is more advanced than the children with down syndrome, but not socially up to speed with others her age. Too bad we couldnt get them together. My heart goes out to you. Love to you both. Its the worst! We homeschool because hed rather be here then teased at school. I have a son that is 12. I promise it will get better for him! I think a lot of teen self-worth comes from the validation that they receive from friends. He definitely has depression and I always keep an open line of communication with him. Friendships are an important part of the teen years. Elementary school was tough, but middle school was brutal. He sits with the other lonely kid, the one with no one else around, but theyre both so shy or awkward that the conversation fizzles and they sit in awkward silence. 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