what did i do wrong to deserve this pain

You are not destined to suffer; there is no malevolent force bringing misery to your doorstep. . It is great advice and i believe you really need to go, you have nothing to lose by going away and try to get help. Would you share the name & location of the place in Florida? I believe in coming out of depression. My overall mood, abilities to perform everyday tasks are worsening. Please keep me posted. The Psalmist in Chapter 42:5 cries within and comforts himself through the pain saying, Why, my soul, are you downcast? If you can find another psychiatrist I' probably stay in help with the current psychiatrist and don't make that switch until you know that the new one is going to work. And I echo our friend Michelle, God set His eyes on you And once His Eyes of Grace are fixed, salvation always follows. Thanks. The law of karma is similar toNewton's third law, except that it involves, not the physical level, but subtler concepts like higher powers and cosmic justice. Tell them that there was nothing that singled them out to experience such evil at the hands of men or nature. I ask myself that a lot even though I'm going through a very different situation then what you're going through. Habakkuk? Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. I didn't think it was all that accurate. What would you call it? Im so sorry my friend. My son, who's 12 really doesn't want me to go he's always saying I can't be without my daddy. Why? Thank you, glad you liked it. I don't know how to. The next year my house burned to the ground on Christmas morning. If he did that to you, then he's not the man of your dreams. Mine for not being here, the trauma of my 12 year old son and the heartbreak of my wife. Statistically, I should have died. Really? Ruin his life. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, Why You Are Wrong To Believe You Deserve To Feel Pain, Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you if you feel like you deserve to suffer. It could save your life. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Amen. I personally don't find the crisis center helpful, because one time when I went to the ED, after a 4 hour wait for them to tell me to go to the crisis center, so I went to the crisis center the next time I needed help, they told me to go to the ED after waiting for an hour to talk to someone. If we are meant to be, then somehow, we will make it work. Nikocado Avocado6059 Allentown Blvd. I got tired of not having any joy, the emotional blunting and emotional paralysis. It is not necessarily accurate for all. Tell them that we live in a world that is broken and marred by sin and that sometimes we get knocked down by the evil in it; and sometimes we get knocked down hard. I can understand not wanting to leave your son, but I don't see it as breaking a promise, I more so see it as going to get help so that you can be an even better father to him, better than you are now. I realized I had repressed my anger for years because I was punished and shamed for trying to express even normal healthy anger so I was also in denial about it. Your wife needs you too. I asked you how we (here on this board) can help. Healing from depression isn't like other illnesses. I don't even know yet if it will work or not but I'm trying & hoping. Until then, shine bright for the Lord and smile through your suffering, understanding that this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Cor. I'm only taking one pill as I taper off the Trintellix. (Japanese: , Hepburn: Ysha no Kuse ni Namaiki da) is a real-time strategy game for the PlayStation Portable.The game centers on creating mazes and monsters to help defend a demon lord from heroes seeking to capture him. You've probably tried all kinds of meds, but they are also constantly finding new ones or new ways to dose, so don't give up. His grace saw it so. So I won't feel any pain But I must ask What did I do wrong? Then she looks up at me again and her brow furrows. Not a chance! My meds are not stabalising me for me to take more of an advantage of my DBT. This question is meant to bring the one suffering to reflect on the seriousness of our sin, the unimpeachable holiness of God, and that any good we experience is the result of sheer undeserved and unmerited grace, whether common or saving. Simply, How To Stop Feeling Guilty For Past Mistakes And Things Youve Done Wrong, 8 Easy Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts From Entering Your Mind, Say These 6 Positive Affirmations Daily To Build Self-Esteem And Confidence, To Grow Your Self-Esteem Over Time, Do These 10 Small Things Regularly, How To Finally Beat Feelings Of Worthlessness. You must go to Florida,asure your son you will be coming back & maybe they will allow him to visit you while you are in treatment. I am getting worse by the hour. Your son does need you but not when you are feeling so low, in the long run you are not helping him by staying. I laugh and tell her, "You're friend just likes to add happy surprises to someone's day.". It gives your doctor an idea what would help you! I went to the movies, concerts, involved in politics, read voraciously. I have been going through similar symptoms for years. It was not a matter of fault on our account. He did so multiple times that day. He seemed to be, but he definitely didn't wake up one day and decide to ghost you. What did I do to deserve all of this pain? I promise I'll listen I promise not to judge you I promise Please I want to make things right Only if you let me But if you don't I'll walk the earth forever and ever Add to Collection . So sorry you haven't found the right formula. It won't matter how I answer this question I suspect y. You like it because you believe you deserve it. Hi Josh! Yes, your son will miss you. I do need him to be an adult and I do need him to show up. “I Feel Like I Don’t Exist” (Reasons Why + What To Do), When Self-Deprecating Humor Becomes Harmful, How To Stop Making Rash Decisions: 15 Highly Effective Tips, 11 Ways To Ease Adulting Anxiety And Beat The Fear Of Growing Up, “I Don’t Feel Anything” Reasons Why + 8 Things To Do About It, 8 Reasons Why You Feel Fake (+ How Not To). It cost $30 at a clinic. I am in so much pain,so overwhelmed, scared, and just can't live like this anymore, help! So much pain. , : | . They can guide you and help you to see that you dont deserve pain, no matter what you may have done in the past. Again. Did the Holy Spirit convict you . But I think you said you tried that. Im sorry its so hard. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. It's the dextromethorphan it's mixed with. It explained why no antidepressants ever worked for myself. Tell them that God promises that when (not if) we walk through the fire He walks with us and will keep us from being consumed. Writing it has actually been rather therapeutic for me, and it feels good to get all of these thoughts out of my head. It's easy to try to rationalize and try to solve our problems intellectually because that way we don't have to actually feel all of the traumatic difficult emotions and deal with them. To me anger was rage but there are varying degrees of anger without rage. I don't know what to do. If its at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward. There is a reason for that. He is literally begging you to be around for him. How much energy is lost in sperm. This is what the law of karma is about: for every action there is a reaction. go to the ER if that is where you need to be. They take insurance. It will kill him, ruin his life. hi there, sorry for your heartache, I think rare candy has said exactly what i was thinking. Married but completely alone. Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. Marshall B. Rosenberg. In addition to that, I am working on a PhD in systematic and spiritual theology. Sound advice from a pastor who has experienced pain and suffering. I know she's thinking of leaving me and taking my son with her. DBT is great for recognizing and learning how to deal with it. What did I do wrong? If so, you need to read this article. Doesnt work. Its more convenient than in-person therapy and is more affordable in a lot of cases. But there's so much pain, I'm so paralyzed. If your wife is there to help I suggest getting the help you need even if it means going away. I also found ACT therapy helpful for my depression. I imagine that's true of a lot of behavioral therapy. I'm praying the improvement is real this time!Check out this video about it: youtu.be/ESvvAMWXuM4(Not working as expected?). , : ' ' .. And that very soon, well be in the arms of our loving father where He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev 21:4). I did not even realize what I was doing. Your soul is getting a fulfillment you can't fathom through this pain. If it means a residential treatment program then it seems you have nothing to lose. Because it's the suppression of our emotions including anger that cause our depression and anxiety. I was great at work, a was a relatively functional human being. But you are no more deserving of pain and hurt than anyone else. We have done everything to deserve . (LogOut/ In other words, hes saying, be happy because youre lucky and special to have been chosen and given this opportunity to encounter these pains and suffering in your lifetime. They're helpful with a lot of stuff, but not so much mental health, or at least in my experience. I was the only one who said that I havent been angry in years, for as long as I can remember. I need to show my wife I can be a bigger partner but I feel myself slipping into the abyss. I don't really want to die, I want to save my marriage and raise my son. This page contains affiliate links. In truth, you like the pain. Really, I am sorry it did not help. I want to be the one to raise him. The fellow EMTs that picked me up told me "You could've signed a refusal" and I said "true, but you don't argue with a battalion chief." I had some luck with Ketamine. My Latest Book: Special Graces in Common Places. "What did I do to deserve this?" she asks in puzzled wonderment. My doctor is leaving that up to me, knowing what a hard time I have tolerating any meds. Simply click here to connect with one via BetterHelp.com. He always says I don't want to be without my dad. Best of luck and hope you do whats best for you and your family.. Of course, plenty of people answer with more in-depth, often insensitive answers. Nonetheless, just as Newton's law is not a belief but a principle of physical science, the law of karma . In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained. I was also careful to direct the anger at my perpetrator and not at myself. Jane Austen. To not live in the same house with him would devastate me. His wisdom will eventually sink into my think skull and his patience will see it so. But very few are taking new patients. Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment. Fact is: Only God knows. The other thing I can think of is, if you have a crisis center, they should be able to give you recourses to help you. I have no idea what to do with my suicidal pain and my meds. I dont expect my boyfriend to work an 8-5 job and be normal. He's right about that. Have you felt pain and believed that it was warranted? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page. Where was my mistake? I did some research and found out it's supposed to work in about a week instead of several weeks like other antidepressants. Whatever it takes to stay alive and have some moments of feeling okay! Is she understanding of what would help you as well as what she needs from you? I tried acupuncture and noticed an improvement. Yes, He is always with us. Let that same love be felt for yourself while you are working on finding the next pathways in life. While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. Try to get back on your foot with help you can do it Every step towards getting job that will satisfy you will also help Just try. If I lived alone I probably wouldn't be here. Just started fetzima. She just might need to feel like you are really present, like she can count on you. He said 5mg is better than nothing and just keep taking it. You need to get better so you can be there for your son. Was it the real Genesight or one of the others out there? Change). You just need to stick around for it and take a small step right now, one at a time, whatever it is to make today 0.1% better. God doesnt punish sin twiceall paid for! Dumbest thing I ever did. I also noticed how a lot of my anger was directed at myself instead of who it should have been and started taking steps to change that. We end up thinking "what did I do to deserve this?" This is the trap of the drama triangle. This may apply to you or not but it couldn't hurt. No, it wont make all the problems go away, but it will keep you alive and will be the first step to making things much more tolerable. First up no shoulds which bring more pain. .. 7 , Article: KEYS TO EXPERIENCE JOY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP | JACOB VARGHESE, Article: Life Lesson From a Potter | Jerrin Jacob, Article: WHATS IN A NAME? You have tried and are still trying so much. And same is the case of all the great men, in the Bible. Im not getting any better. The #1 Post Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. (Not saying that you're not doing a great job already, so that you can do an even better job than what you're doing now. only for yourself but we're all preprogrammed with til death happily ever after fairytale harlequin tiger beat romantic illusions perpetuated by media, literature, religion, culture since kindergarten. It's hard to just end it when you have a kid, but I have thought about running away. Click here if youd like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started. Why do you say it does not work for you? Sometimes it's better to move psychiatrist even though it might not be as easy especially if you already have someone you been seeing for a while and like them. I've been suffering trying to find a medication that works too. Some types of therapy help us intellectually but we also need to process and feel our deep emotional pain in order to heal. I pray and practice Zen Buddhism.I go to online NAMI Groups. Ribi Kenneth, UAE, Article: THE TRUE POINT OF LIFE! We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. KE Editorial board. At the time, I did believe this patient was decompensating and seemingly lost in her despair. Great advice from others. i could run away i could hide i could get help but what would it do add another beating or two breakaway my heart says run away from this life only i can change this and then behold i got away Don't give up. | Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. But God heard every prayer and rescued me when I did not even realize that I needed it by then. fire). Right now I really want to go to the ER, but I also know that won't help me. He not only singled me out saving me physically from that fire, but singled me out in Christ to save me from what would be a far worse fatepaying the price for my sins to a perfect and holy God who would not let the least of them go unpunished. I took my first dose today. Please read my response again. 5 minutes later the house was gone. In a world where people are fallen and bent towards evil, we will inevitably fall victim to the harmful choices of others that we had nothing to do with. I want my life back instead of this furniture existence. The ketamine seemed to really work at first, then less over time and it is expensive. I suffered in silence and continually repented for even marrying him without Gods blessings. I just keep getting worse and worse. God has a plan for us. just reassure him you will be back. | Benoy J. Thomas, Kraisthava Ezhuthupura | , Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. It's a constant battle against this horrible disease. I think it's more common than a lot of people realize and it makes sense, if you were punished as a kid and thought your very survival depended on suppressing anger of course you would repress it and deny it. That would be worth anything. But Apostle Paul takes it one step further and challenges us Christians to not be content with just that knowledge, but to respond to our suffering with rejoicing knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Rom 5:3-5). Hope your night is at least a tiny bit better than yesterday. A therapist is often the best person you can talk to. You'll see this most often if you ask him if he likes the clothes you're wearing or if he likes your haircut. Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. No one is in a position to have an expectation of "good.". Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved. It sounds like this person is lazy and wants to get rid of you to make their life easier , you need to show them its going to make it harder trying to get rid of them or just look for another job. Have you done any therapy specifically for it? It was once more Gods hand moved to save me. Hes on Prozac and Abilify as well, and Im sure they help some in the sense that I dont really want to see him off of them but they are still not cutting it. You are my only true love. Why me? Why has God stopped caring for me? I've been in and out of the hospital a total of 8 times, 5 times for my PTSD, transported there by EMS. I was never Suicidal. What did we do wrong to deserve that? Answer such as: "Oh, this is all part of God's plan.". Job? The only one place where we find a direct response from God is in John Chapter 9:2&3 "His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God . I've been hospitalized once. And then he just randomly broke up with me over text. I was in a group therapy session last year and they wanted us to describe what made us most angry. Fucker didn't work. You dont question the reasoning behind the pain, preferring to consider it your fate in life. I've taken them All. God is just, there is no double jeopardy, He cannot punish for sin twice. If this program has a chance to help you, you should go. I've been back and forth between the crisis center and ED both not really helpful. But I also promised him I'd be around. I agree, lives are at stake. I find this through meditation practice. Theologically, I fully agree with the facts of the depravity of our fallen nature and the utter sinfulness of our heart, soul, and mind. I fell victim to the reality of original sin. Online it says it was recently FDA approved for depression and it supposedly works differently than other meds out there. Thats so true. Its a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them. They used to workuntil they stopped working. How did I stay on that ledge? That is too bad. My therapist told me today to focus on what is going rightits hard when depression tries to make us see everything as wrong but I think its a good practice to try. I got some good advice from a coworker one time, he told me something along the lines of "You can't help other people until you help yourself first, because you can't help them as effectively if you're down." Today, I'm letting you guys know what's happened behind the scenes and . I have pictures of my son at work and when I look at them I sob. John 16:8 says this about the Holy Spirt, "And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment". If someone has other options please let me know. Going into it lately. When dealing with my pain, there are the times when the pain is great, almost too much for me to handle that I think to myself, I deserve this pain, it is my punishment for something. Please let me know. This has been going on for way to long and lives are at stake. If it does not, then whatever is wrong is something else all together. From my physical near death appearance to the officer who stopped and found me. Walking beside the suffering, listening without speaking and a simple hug are powerful! | Roykollaka, India, .. . , 2022: 12 , , , ( 67) , , , , , , : , 2 , : , : | . I'm looking into facilities/programs just in case Lexapro fails. I care about you and your family. Yesterday I started a series of posts prompted by everyones favorite pastoral question: Why is this happening to me? It is a very honest question when we are suffering, and it is perfectly fine and appropriate to ask. Think of it like when they tell you to put on your mask before anyone else's on an airplane. I'm more and more suicidal, less and less functional. I speak at local churches on a regular basis and have authored three books, all available on Amazon. You must do what is best for you and your family. (I still relate to the title, and I feel like I'm just going in circles and just don't know what to do anymore). I'm not. I would then use google to search for that kind of therapist in my area and check out their website or profile on sites like psychologytoday.com. Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked. He intervened and in his mercy showed the way it would end. I'm really not functioning at a sustainable level. No one is in a position to have an expectation of good. We have done everything to deserve punishment for our sins, and have done nothing to deserve the reward of good.. What did I do wrong to deserve this? The only reason this question is asked is when there is no discernable connection between choices we have made and the circumstances of our suffering. Right now it's a real struggle. I'm completely emotionally unstable. In each of these cases, there is however, a sense in which there was a singling out. I'm in couples therapy with my wife because she's been so unhappy for so long. Personally, I am learning to live for God through Christ in such a way that I am full of grace and truth (John 1:14). When we are troubled by our actions, it is because we understand their negative consequences and wish to somehow take them back. Keep an open mind. Then I was there once because of a really bad anxiety attack, and they sent me home. Those who struggle with these questions are in the company of the finest saints in Scripture! but he doesn't even notice. Sample of a GeneSight report. When we do that, when we see ourselves as that helpless, our mind has to conclude that there must be something seriously wrong with us. His love and mercy saw his hands to work. Im sure it will be the hardest thing for you to do, but please do SOMETHING to stay here, for yourself and your family. Now my life is like a piece of furniture and not worth living. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); After thirteen years as a pastor in New England, I am currently working as a retail tobacconist, manage the pipe and pipe tobacco section at New England's premiere cigar bar, Twins Smoke Shop, and host the "Not Just Blowing Smoke" podcast. Sorry to hear to are still not doing well. Have you ever convinced yourself that you deserve to have bad things happen to you? Showed meds I had been on that should work and didn't, showed meds I was on and shouldn't work but did. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. I'm afraid to even say that out loud, I don't want to wake the beast! At the same time, we all make bad decisions, fail, and rebel. What did I do to deserve this. We got back together two months later and things were going great. Some would say medicine and science saved me but when you fall over two hundred feet to solid rock man and medicine can do nothing for you. The doctors when the placed me in intensive care told my parents days was all I had. I don't really want to die, I want to save my marriage and raise my son. Kraisthava Ezhuthupura - Reaching Through Media, : | . Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. One of the things I read a number of years ago was that depression could be caused by repressed anger and that when patients started getting in touch with their anger and rage, venting it and processing it, their depression and over all mood improved. For me why did he do this to me? The first time was when I was diagnosed with it, but the other 4 times was because I wasn't coping well with it (I'm still not honestly). While we were walking down the street, we were jumped from behind and attacked by a gang (apparently because I looked similar to a member of a rival gang). You are a good person. As I type this sentence, my eye is still swollen and turning purple. I don't want some random person from the internet. Mine wasn't accurate at all and my insurance at the time didn't cover it but I didn't find out until after the fact. I don't know to do, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. Cold turkey, patches, gums, acupuncture, lasers if you can name it, I have tried it, and I can tell you why it didn't work for me. Answer (1 of 4): I don't know who told you Love is the key to LIFE!!! If a marriage has gone down the shitter, and one . It's barely been a week. Your wife will see you are trying, it will give her space too and yourself to find if this works for you. How long have you been on lexapro. I might have mentioned this before to you. I feel like a piece of furniture. He takes pleasure in inflicting pain on those he believes deserve it, like his enemies, but he . (LogOut/ Did acupuncture a long time ago, Didnt do much. I just want to get better. If it wasn't for my son and wife I'd probably be dead. Tell him its an adventure and you need him to be strong for you. I had to start by cutting 10mg pill into quarters for 8 days just to be able to tolerate it. Yes, pain can teach us many things and help us grow as individuals, but only when it comes as a natural consequence of life. Same here. I started calling the hospitals. Here is a copy of a sample report. Although the 1st time I was transported for my Type 1, I was ordered by my battalion chief so I couldn't disobey his order. I promised my son, who's 12, 1000 times over, I will not leave him. I'm not sure if depression is from repressed anger or not, but how do see the value in the visceral actions. Why so disturbed within me? What did I do wrong? How To Fight Your Demons (A Better Way Of Looking At It), How To Stop Making Assumptions: 8 Highly Effective Tips, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. If she feels like me, any thoughts about leaving are NOT because she doesnt want you around. he does need you to get better. Mount Sinai hospital seems to have a good treatment resistant depression clinic but I can't get a hold of anyone there. I'm worried about being away from him permanently. Put it all together a fall no one knows how I survived, a hiker trained to handle severe trama medically, emergency personnel nearby and ready to move. I have a good psychiatrist but ive been looking for a second opinion or a new one. Then incarnate that for them by sticking with them, supporting them, and walking with them. You deserve to feel better than this and it can happen. i started keeping a mood/anger diary to become more aware of my feelings and anger. I honestly don't know. I am so far away from my family and best friends. This is especially useful in all the little moral nuances of daily life. Im sorry. Your right, I really need to go away. It too easily leads to the assumption that if only your theology was more biblical, you would not have these gnawing questions. Its also true that you can take a great deal of meaning from suffering, but it isnt the case that you have to suffer in order to find meaning. So frustrating to have to figure this out when it's hard just to breathe and get out of bed. and Charitable Trust. Can you talk, instead of just a message board? If you have spent any time on my blog, you know that I am not your typical Reformed/Calvinist! Amen sister amen. Sure it would be tough to be away from home, but its tough just functioning right now and this might give you a chance for a better life when you get back. In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained. I'm in so much pain for so long (20-25 years, the last year and half extremely suicidal), that I just want to end it all. Nothing. I can't leave my son or wife. You are both inspirational to me. It's horrible. It's called FHEHeath in Florida. I am sorry you are feeling so awful. , .. : 15 , .. . , : | . But my life is a living hell. I've also been hospitalized. A few things I can say. James, the brother of Jesus, also confirms that statement by saying; Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness (James 1:2-3). I am humbled by your kind words. But the last session didn't work. you dont deserve this and most things in the world just happen and have nothing to do if you deserve it or not. I don't deserve you, and that's why I am apologizing with this sorry message. English Article:What did I do wrong to deserve this pain and suffering? Were talking about the inner belief that you have not earned the right to be free from pain and hurt. Ever read the Psalms? He was 16 when we first got together. None help. My doctor was at a loss but I started drugs againover and over. I know how frustrating it is to try almost everything and nothing helps. Wondering what did I do so wrong To deserve this I feel like I am worthless Every time I speak . So I really feel for you. 2. Where was my mistake? It could just as easily been you. I took a GeneSite test. About a year a go i had to break up with my boyfriend because he treated me wrong. For the Christian, divine retribution was fully meted out at the cross. Kind of feel like the hulk Perhaps I need to get a punching bag and see if I can explode for a while. I had no idea that it was fueling my anxiety and depression. I heard For some reason once you leave something and go back it never works the same. I promised my son a long time ago I would always be here for him and that's what's keeping me alive, barely. What did I do wrong to deserve that? I am sure your wife is scared too because you are not replaceable. I promised him I'm never going to leave him, but honestly, I don't know if I can keep that promise. I'm very hopeful. Hi Josh, so sorry you are going through this. A good place to get professional help is the website BetterHelp.com here, youll be able to connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message. When I was a teenager a friend of mine and I went into Boston for the day. Barely functioning and the professionals don't know what else to do. Pain does happen - it may be a benign consequence of chance, the result of our own choices, or down to the actions (malevolent or otherwise) of third parties. You are so right. 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